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Acceptance column: http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/ http://www.happydiscipline.com/AdviceColumn.html http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/ DEAR ABBY: I was recently invited to a relative's home because my nephew was introducing his fiancee, "Macy," to the family. I asked my nephew what gift Macy might like, and he suggested a sweater and told me her size. I bought her a lovely one -- at least, I thought it was lovely. After Macy tried it on, I was shocked when she handed it back to me and said she didn't like it. I couldn't exchange or return it because it had been purchased from a store where I live, and this store doesn't have a branch in their state. I took the gift home with me and got a refund. Now I don't know what to do. Because Macy gave it back to me, does she forfeit the gift? Should I send her the amount of the store refund? Do I owe her anything as a substitute for the gift she refused? She will be a part of our family, and I need to know what to do if this happens again. I'd appreciate your thoughts. --GIFT-CHALLENGED IN IOWA DEAR GIFT-CHALLENGED: If ever I heard about someone who needs an etiquette book, it's your nephew's fiancee. Make it a thick one, because she appears to be clueless in that department. As to what to do if this happens again -- you can prevent it from happening by not selecting any more gifts for her. A donation in her name to a favorite charity might work if you feel obligated to give her something. My 5 year old son is in a world of his own. When I want him to listen to me he'll pretend he hears me, but then starts doing something silly. He doesn't ever take me seriously. How do I get my son to listen to me? Thanks, Kara B. Don't worry, you're not alone. Many parents are frustrated because they have to repeat their requests or demands over and over again before their child will listen. This can be quite frustrating, but it can also be changed. You won't be ignored forever. With some simple tactics you can have your child responding to your requests in no time.  DEAR OLD FLAME: Frankly, I see no reason why you should sneak around to do it without your wife's knowledge. Tell her word has reached you that the woman is dying, that at the time you knew her she meant a lot to you, and you plan to send her flowers and a message. If your wife is so insecure that she would tell you not to, don't do it. But, please, don't beat around the bush or sneak around. You're all adults, and being secretive is childish.

Characteristics: One answerer Usually each question is about a single topic The answerer is usually only one person Criteria: Names of advice giver and questioner are made up The question being asked is a complex one The advice giver answers the question honestly